im miss him
ive decided theres a rare an ellusive, maybe even divine quality that only the naive enjoy
an intangible yet awesome force that propells their actions with sense of surety and well being which the causes their obvious invincibility.
and then one day something doesnt go as they would have expected. and then closely following life scares them again. Their heroes die and their distressed damsles become old. her teeth yellow and chip at the corners, a crack forms down the length of her tongue. Unknown white matter crusts around the edges of her mouth. She becomes old but still wears the asme amount of a makeup a young girl would because this damsle has forgotten shes old. She never even realizes her life is over. But she keeps rocking in her chair with her long matted grey hair hanging out the window certain of her rescue. She dies like that and surely goes to hell, with such a wasted life, the afterlife could be no better.
and thats when these precious naive few learn the world has teeth and it can bite. and they cry, god help them they cry. they hurt, they bleed, they suffer.
and then continue, perhaps with a little more trepidation in their skip, but better than nothing.
until it happens again. and again. and again.
and then these poor few become callused and even the worst burn or deepest cut cannot be felt through their dead skin. theres no more unbridled happiness or carefree lifestyle. theyre wiser now and can usually see trouble long before it happens. And theyll long see touble where it never is. They lack confidence in everything save for the depravity of the world. That same intangible and awesome surety is mutilated and twisted so that instead of knowing the good it only suspects the bad.
They once woke up every morning wondering what will happen today and such musing are replaced by the fears of what could happen today.
and then worst of all i think a part of them realizes this has happened. and instead of lamenting over the terrible loss they pride themselves. they believe they are better this way. but as in most things they cant be completely sure, so they convince themselves. they rename all who are still invincible and happy the naive. And they say it with an air of knowing, tyring to instill in the innocents theyre same doubt and suspicion. they try to convince the naive that they are flawed and sillly. that good int he world is fabled and shit.
then the sad people have children who fall into the same cycle. because everyone is either naive or enlightened, the latter having various levels. id like to be naive again, just for a little while.
because right now, i think there are good things but i can hardly ever get excited for them becuase such thigns are so easily taken away. and i cant thinjk of anyway to stop that feeling. but it seeemed justified to let people know, naivety needn’t carry its negative connotation.
in fact, it probably should be enjoyed and valued. and if ever possible, sought out.
